This is new...sharing my innermost thoughts with friends and family. some will know that I have kept a diary over the years, not consistently but ...thinking about it...at times of change.

I recently strolled up a hill (in the snow) in the Lake District with Jule and Nick, and although not the first people with whom I have shared my adventurous plans, I did come to the conclusion (between breaths) that I could be accused of being perverse - why otherwise would I unsettle a happy and really very contended life? What drives me to be capricious, challenged, (and challenging) scared and contrary (as Mr R would agree)? Maybe I will find out this year - maybe I will know a little more about me and be even more contented.

Making change a reality is very difficult, but this is the first year that I have made resolutions and taken that step of sharing them with all - boring them, probably, but in some respects that has driven me to take action.

The idea of a sabbatical, was if I'm honest, originally a negative reaction to the 'rejection' (!) of what I thought was the job I really wanted. But the more I thought about it the more it seemed like an opportunity for me, I applied and I was granted 3 months - what to do with them! here is the exciting part.

....and the part that has taken me months. I knew I wanted to volunteer abroad. VSO has been high on my 'must do dream' list for 20+ years. Sadly they could not offer me anything for less than a year. I knew my 3 months was unpaid...there go the savings. I wanted to go to Burma - my heritage, or at least Asia, as I have never been. To be honest these vague ideas led to even greater confusion and what was worse the moment you start looking on the damned Internet the sheer volume of opportunities is frankly ridiculous and then which volunteer/gap year/trekking organisations were bona fide, and then you ask friends and you get even MORE information. I was the proverbial rabbit in a headlight.

I could write a whole essay on the experience of having too much choice and another one on not knowing really wanted you wanted to do - or achieve! But I wont.

So my first real lesson from all of this was a lesson in how to make decisions - and here they are
(the decisions - not the lessons)
1. Take a TEFL course - (Teaching English as a Foreign language) open many money earning doors and supports any application for volunteering abroad - a new skill!
2. Go to Borneo (3 weeks) - look at the link - I am SO excited not least by only bathing in rivers eating local food and hopefully spending some time with orangutans. (Long drop loos not desperately appealing)
3. Go to Albania (2 weeks) - look at the link - is this me or what?
4. spend some time with friends and family - take Dad on a walk in the Dales, take Mr R on a train trip to France (OK he pays so not strictly taking him), learn to dance, party...enjoy
5. Work on the future - time to make plans.....
6. Get fit, get scared, get sponsored -

So this blog serves two purposes - for those who want to you can keep up with my activities (starting June) and for those who have too much money and find the blog boring you can sponsor me on some of the activities I am indulging in, starting with cycle ride around the Isle of Wight - 65 miles and my daughter bullying me all the way, jumping out of plane, hopefully strapped to someone with a parachute, race for life in hilly gloucestershire, with my daughter motivating me all the way... so much choice, but thats life!